In The Twilight

For several months now I’ve been up before dawn. Waaaay before dawn, like 3am. Those of you who know me well know I am not a morning person. But I’m a new puppy mom so it’s really not been up to me. First, I fought it. Asking myself “why why do I have to be up so EARLYYY?” It took me back to my early days when Sydney was first born, and those sleepless nights nursing her.

Then I started to get curious. And ask questions. What if I was given this time on purpose? What would it be for? I sat in my writing chair, and wondered. What am I being shown? And because writing is my most familiar way through, I began to write. Processing 2019 and all it’s crazy ups and downs.

I looked up the sunrise schedule. Mostly to figure out, how many more hours and minutes until I get relief from this inky silence? And alongside the sunrise schedule I found another schedule — it outlined the time each day that first light appears. This is the point at which the sun first starts to create a glow in the morning, or the last light we see after the sun sets at night.

twi·light (n)
- the soft glowing light from the sky when the sun is below the horizon
- a period or state of obscurity, ambiguity

I know that my work, my soul’s work, is mean to be done in the pre-dawn. Before the light. To hold space for founders as they move through the darkness for the first time. To believe for them, until they believe in themselves. With each cohort, with each founder I meet, they ask me for a light, or a path of some kind.

I can’t give them the path, but I can teach them to walk in the dark.

To dig deep, to carry their intent with them and to put one foot in front of the other, until they see the first light.

This twilight work is a repeating pattern in our lives as founders and creators. We can’t change it. But we can embrace it as practice. we can learn not to shame ourselves for stumbling in the darkness. feeling lost, alone, confused and scared. This is the founder journey, and the darkness is our teacher.

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