As I walk into 2020, I find myself single again. And this time, perhaps for the first time, I’m savoring it. I have always been a believer in the beauty and healing power of monogamy, and in partnership as the ultimate spiritual path. And I still am. So it’s challenging to walk this piece of the journey alone. But I have learned a lot from my last year’s relationship. I believe each person in our lives is meant to teach us more about ourselves and bring us closer to our intent. And for that I am grateful.

For those of you who are familiar with the practice of yoga, you’ll probably recognize yourself in this scenario. You find yourself on your mat, flowing and moving with your breath. Suddenly, you notice that the person next to you is flowing in sync with you, and you are really into it. You stop focusing on your breath, maybe you even stop breathing completely. Then, suddenly you loose your balance. Wobbly and a bit lost you try to regain your footing.

Here’s the thing. We forget to focus on our own breathe. I know I forgot to breathe at all, many times in this last relationship. I was so into the mirror I was being shown, and the potential I saw that I lost track of my own breath.

I believe it’s not about how long your yoga practice is, or how long your relationship lasts. It’s about the quality of your breath, the quality of your attunement to your own heart throughout the experience. Can you maintain your slow steady grounding breath alone, when your partner appears, and as they leave? Can you maintain it when you can’t hear them at all?

So this season I am determined to focus on the quality of my breath, on and off my mat. And to stop trying so hard, to let it unfold, one moment at a time.