suddenly last night
it hit me
after just enough wine
and hours of conversation
here's the lie
that's been holding me captive
plain as day
that I am not allowed
to define my own epicenter
that I must follow the normal way
date. marry. move in.
make my lover my epicenter
build my life around him
but that's a lie
I am allowed to invent my own story
I am the only one in my way
and years ago, I chose my craft and my dreams
I chose to put that first
for 20 years I have spent my life on this craft, of holding space.
but I keep feeling pulled back by lies that say, that's not enough.
you aren't doing it right.
it's just not true
I have chosen my craft first
and that is enough
I am here for the beautiful souls
who co-create change in the world with me
they are my life
and I am here for Ben
my partner in this mission
It's time to stop giving energy to the noise
stop trying to tee up a plan b
to satisfy the elusive "everyone"
when I know damn well
it's not my focus.
it's time to walk around in the world
like I know that this is enough.
in fact it's more
than I even dreamed for
it's time to set myself free
I am here to hold space
and it is enough